Thoughts On Big Love - Share Yours!

Submitted by PluralWife on Tue, 2007-08-28 22:57.

I loved the finale. Ana's appearance and the resultant ripple effect through the family was awesome. I'm glad she and Margene are still friends, and now she's met the family and knows everything.

The episode was full of entertaining twists. Bill was actually appealing in this episode; he was as flustered, surprised and overwhelmed as usual, but also strong and honorable.

My absolute favorite part of the show was when Barb took Margene's hand and introduced her to Pam as her sister-wife, publicly admitting that she is a polygamist and openly acknowledging Margene and Nicki as her family. Ha! The acting in that scene was powerful, especially when Barb fights her tears and anxiety as she tightens her hold of Margene's hand and asks Margene to please let her tell Bill what had happened.

Yes, Barb was re-asserting herself as "first wife"; apparently Aleen's words cut her to the quick. How could she be more powerless living in hiding? Indeed, Barb's struggles with polygamy this season are to some extent the result of her re-evaluation of her choices and the consequences of those choices: being humiliated publicly at the Governor's mansion, and being unable to stand up and live openly without fear. There is empowerment in standing up for yourself, your values, your beliefs, the core of who you are. She hasn't been able to do that until this episode, because she hasn't been sure of herself, her values, her beliefs, or what she really wants. She's been bouncing back and forth in her feelings, and that indecisiveness has crippled her from acting, leaving her, indeed, powerless over her life and her influence in her marriage and family.

Still, what she did was deeply meaningful to Margene, and very bonding to the women and the family. It is a reassurance I think all plural wives need and desire, acceptance from the first wife embracing them into the family and loving them. Are they really welcome?

I loved how Ben embraced her afterward, and I really enjoyed the final scene where the women are standing together, smiling and commiserating. Barb's struggles were creating fissures between all of them, alienating them from each other, sewing distrust and fear. It wasn't intentional, but it is very realistic. Margene is going to continue to assert herself and grow as a woman and a wife. Barb will ultimately have to learn that she can be empowered and assert herself, but so too can the other wives, and it is a constant, delicate balance for the family to maintain.

So maybe Ana will become a more permanent fixture! That's exciting. My husband whooped with glee when she confronted Bill in the kitchen and kissed him ~ Wow! That was some kiss ~ Bill has his hand's full! Clearly Ana is not put off by the fact that he has three other women vying for his attention!

Roman, Roman, Roman. He wasn't killed, but in another surprising twist, he's been turned over to the law by his usurping son Alby, who now has the support of Roman's community of followers behind him.

I thought it highly unrealistic that Bill would be nominated chairman of the board in Roman's absence, but it made for some interesting possibilities. No way was he going to become the leader of that group, not going to happen.

I'm fascinated by the writers' ongoing exploration of polygamy and the intriguing characters and plotlines they've created. Who would have guessed that Lois has been encouraging Wanda to poison people? Even after the situation with the district attorney, it never occurred to me that Lois made have pushed Wanda into poisoning Bill's crusty dad.

Lots of storylines still to develop and follow in season three! What is worth watching on TV till then?

Submitted by PluralWife
http://www.pluralwife.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, July 17, 2007

It was hard watching last night's episode; I caught it 10 minutes in, which I hate, then I had a lot of interruptions, particularly the phone, which caused me to miss dialogue here and there, and some parts of the show twisted my stomach into knots. My daughter came in about halfway through and watched to the end with me, and she was really disappointed when it ended! (I'll blog about Ana, the potential 4th wife, next time.)

The new evil polygamists, the Greens (?!?), were interesting. Just what were they going to do with that blow torch? Apparently these polygamists brand people, though to what end beyond some strange form of torture? What was the brand? Fortunately Bill was able to scheme his way out of it ~

I have actually had media phone calls that came close to the one Nicki received (though not the same subject matter, of course!). I'm talking about personally threatening or provoking calls; that happened more before I took action and become a spokesperson. Before I was a spokesperson, I was just a normal person living out my life as a stay-at-home wife and mother. To get media calls out of the blue while you're in the middle of sorting laundry or washing the dishes is weird. You're not prepared for it and you certainly didn't ask for it. It was like, "Okay, so because I lived polygamy and now the ex wants to make up wild tales about us, I suddenly have to talk to the press and justify my life?" Generally I was able to handle these calls calmly but there were a few times where I got inflamed and responded in a tone the caller more than deserved, but which wasn't necessarily productive.

Ultimately the best way for me to deal with such calls was to take the bull by the horns and answer the need, make myself available. The sensational media dropped away, and the responsible media took its place. The subject matter still commands a sensationalist curiosity, but there is also an intelligent discussion and debate coming to the fore now that was never there before. We're proud of that, and Principle Voices has played a part in bringing it there.

The part of the show last night that really twisted my insides was the part with Rhonda. Here Sarah has helped Rhonda (even after Rhonda exposed Barb and with some fear and trepidation about Rhonda, justifiably so!) and Heather's family has taken her in, and Rhonda repays them all by manipulating and exploiting Heather's family, lying about Sarah's family, and driving a wedge between Sarah and Heather. She is dividing friendships to create loyalties that will serve her and only her. Rhonda is far worse than Nicki ever was (though in all fairness Nicki is her own worst enemy and her actions are also detrimental to her family). Rhonda has no loyalties to anyone but herself. She is interested in only herself and will do whatever she has to do to get what she wants and doesn't care who she destroys along the way. How can you not feel sorry for her? She has no compassion, no mercy, no understanding of the human cost and the consequences of her actions, and she doesn't care to. I think the writers may be trying to say that Rhonda is a creation of her life; she is what she has learned to be. She survives in the only way she knows how. Even so, how horrible and devastating is that! Rhonda really is a broken person if that's the case, because how will she ever function in a healthy relationship with another human being, in any capacity, if she cannot trust or be worthy of trust, if she cannot respect others but abuses whoever is unfortunate enough to cross her path?

Rhonda is dangerous and harmful to the people around her. Woe to the Tuttles when she ultimately stabs them in the back (which she will do only when it can benefit her and she can be assured of finding a new rescuer to take their place). Rhonda is now using the outside world to her advantage, not only against "old Roman", but against anyone she chooses; telling her story may be one way of freeing herself from Roman, but she is not just telling "her story", she is exploiting the very people who are running to her rescue by distorting the truth wherever it can benefit her.

None of what has happened to her justifies what she is doing, but it's very, very real. The writers of this show have an amazing, excellent grasp of human nature. Rhonda is real. She exists. She's the manipulative child caught in the middle of divorce; she's the false accuser of an innocent person who wouldn't give her what she wanted, bringing in the police or DCFS and manipulating adults against each other at the snap of her finger.

This is the very real fear that polygamous families live with every day. A wife who leaves, either a particular family or the entire lifestyle (or religion, etc.), can easily fan the flames of a prejudiced public too eager to believe evil of polygamists or polygamy because they themselves want that evil to be true. Rhonda has been a victim, but she is victimizing others in return, by mixing false accusations with true accusations. She ceases to be a victim when she does this, and becomes a predator, an abuser herself.

I really related to Sarah when she was confronted by Heather's dad. I have been in situations like that, been confronted by people I didn't expect to confront me, saying things that had no relation to the truth, which were intentionally, venomously hurtful; sometimes I was so shocked (like Sarah) that I could hardly respond. Later I would be livid, furious and upset by my silence and wishing I had fought back.

Lies. They corrode, destroy, hurt. People do believe lies. Liars do get away with a lot of wrong, but sooner or later it does catch up to them.

I know Rhonda. I have never known an Alby, or Bill's crack-pot dad, or Wanda the poisoner, or even Bill's cranky, sour-puss mom. But I know Rhonda. I didn't grow up with Rhonda and my Rhonda wasn't a minor who was powerless and lashing out for survival. She was very good at playing victim, even when she ran off with a male Rhonda just like herself, using & abusing each other while they lied, manipulated and exploited everyone around them to serve their own selfish interests, without regard for who they were hurting. Rhonda took my innocence, and I will never be that naive again.

It was a hard lesson, but one that I got loud and clear, and one that Sarah is now learning. Screw with me once, shame on you; screw with me twice, shame on me. Thanks for that lesson, Rhonda.

Labels: Big Love, polygamy

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Mormon-HBO-Big_Love/message/478

Why Don't People Talk About Big Love?
2007-07-05 07:59
by Jon Weisman

While people debate whether John From Cincinnati is worth the effort or Entourage still has its mojo or Flight of the Conchords is the best new thing including the iPhone, I have to point out that the top first-run HBO show on right now remains Big Love.

Want a show that challenges you (without forcing you to scratch your head half the time)? Big Love does. Want a show with compelling, three-dimensional characters? Big Love has 'em - even a few of the quirky kind if that suits you. Want great performances? Big Love is overrun with them – to the point where the four leads are challenged every episode for acting supremacy by knockout supporting players like Harry Dean Stanton, Grace Zabriskie, Mary Kay Place and, it seems at times, half the supporting cast of Veronica Mars. And the stories in Big Love are filled with drama while being surprisingly spare of melodrama.

I hear more people warming up to JFC. There's definitely a there there, I have no doubt. There's an intriguing mystery, and there are occasional winning moments – most evidenced in Sunday's episode by the warmth between Butch and Kai. But JFC remains tremendously uneven: long sequences pass that are dull, and the majority of the characters still have little going for them.

I found myself thinking about JFC the other night and realizing that if someone randomly killed off this character or that character, I wouldn't care. I might be shocked about the death, but I'd shrug at the absence. Mitch and Cissy seem to have no other dimension other than to whine or sulk. The motel gang, while ably filling the Shakespearean role of fools and sidekicks, have minor arcs at best and are plain expendable. Bill and John spout off in their own ways, all of which fuels the mystery but none of which fuels any interest. And so on.

By the end of Sunday's episode, I had decided that I would no longer make an effort for JFC, not because I was hating it, but just because I felt I could find myself with better things to do over its remaining hours. That doesn't mean I won't watch it again; I just don't feel the payoff is going to be worth the intermittent ennui. Those of you who are hooked can carry the torch without me - I got too many other things to watch to wait for this Godot.

In any case, I think someone needs to speak up for Big Love, because however many positives JFC offers, Big Love dwarfs them. On back-to-back nights this summer, HBO explores the meaning of faith, the meaning of love and the meaning of life, and there should be no doubt that the network does a more enthralling job of it on Mondays.

* * *

Submitted by PluralWife on Sat, 2007-06-30 12:34.
http://www.pluralwife.blogspot.com/

Okay, so I finally caught up on the last few weeks of Big Love. Sorry about the delay but preparing my house to sell has taken up a lot of my time and we went house hunting last Monday and completely missed Big Love. Then my husband went out of town so we decided to go ahead and watch the episodes separately to get caught up for next Monday. We enjoy watching the show together so much more, but it's all good.

I think the characterizations are just getting better and better. I like that Nicki is softening and showing more vulnerability, that she is coming to understand love and loyalty for her family, and finding herself more and more torn between her new family and her old (Roman, Adeleen and the compound).

Margene's naivete and sincerity remind me of myself once upon a time, when I thought that a kind word or gesture could smooth over problems just because it was nice. When she makes that phone call to Barb's sister, and tells her how much she loves Barb and what a wonderful person Barb is, I saw myself doing the same thing, with the same naive, well-meaning and idealistic belief that I would simply be taken at face value and could help resolve rifts or smooth feelings. I've suffered the same sarcastic, harsh rejection that Margene suffered. It was very, very real to me. The harder thing is to get some of those stinging retorts from a sister wife, too, when you're expecting her to be your ally.

I admire the devotion the ladies have to each other, even in the face of personal struggles. Here is Barb struggling with the loss of her relationship as she had known it in monogamy, not sure if polygamy is what she really wants, and yet, she still acknowledges she loves the family in its current state, the women and their children. She doesn't conspire against the other two women or demean them (either to their faces or behind their backs) or threaten them or work Bill to get rid of them. She knows that if she can't live polygamy, she's the one who has to make that choice for herself, and it would mean her departure from the family, not her convincing Bill to eject the other two women and evolve back into monogamy.

Barb is wonderful in the prequel of the birth of Nicki's first baby, where she visits Nicki and holds the baby for the first time. She is comforting and nurturing, reassuring and even firm in her care of Nicki.

I don't know if other plural wives can relate to my feelings about this. Maybe their first wives are more like Barb (some are), and they've been able to look them for acceptance, reassurance of their place in the family, and for a model. I do know some first wives like this; they do exist.

A couple nit-picky thoughts on the first few episodes. At one point, Barb tells Bill she does not have a testimony "for" plural marriage. We wouldn't say that. We would say testimony "of", not "for". And what in the world was Bill thinking in the last episode when he started singing, "Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam?" while he and Nicki were wrapping themselves in sheets and kissing? That was very odd and out of place in an otherwise sweet and romantic scene. I liked every other part of that scene, Bill's playfulness, Nicki's insecurity, her questions about love between men and women in marriage. Not only was the song totally out of place, but I don't think it was in any way realistic either. First, it's a PRIMARY song, for children. Second, I don't know any LDS person who would think of singing a hymn (especially a children's hymn) during intimacy. On top of that, Bill sang one of the verses wrong, reversing some of the words. I grew up singing that song from the time I was a toddler. I would be very surprised that an adult who could sing it from memory would get the words wrong. I can call them up right now! He sings, "In every way try to please him, at school, at home, at play." The words are: "In every way try to please him, at home, at school, at play." Okay, a minor point, I know. I said I was being nit-picky.

Otherwise, another enjoyable episode ~ minus the bare-naked breasts at Lois's house on a woman who clearly has no problem strolling about naked in front of strangers, another odd and totally out of place phenomenon to find at the compound (though perhaps not in Vegas which is where she is apparently from)! I am also a somewhat grossed out by Ben's sexual liaisons. He's a kid; I don't want to see it. Ew. That said, I love Ben, and Sarah, and sympathize with their turmoil and emotional struggles.

Loved Albee this episode. Well, I mean, I love to hate Albee. I did feel sorry for him this last episode. His exchanges with Nicki were marvelous, and who wouldn't feel sorry for him watching him interact with his parents?

I do not know how Mary Kay Place delivers the most shocking lines as if they were banal and common place. She deserves an Emmy. The scene with her walking along with a giant biscuit basket, explaining to a young girl how they are related in several different ways without any acknowledgement of the weirdness of it all was one of my favorite scenes in the entire show. I am absolutely glued to the TV whenever she appears.

I love this show!!!
Introspection of a Plural Wife (2005)

http://www.pluralwife.blogspot.com/

Well, I laughed a lot. I loved the dinner with the neighbors, the obvious discomfort everyone was having with each other and the revelation near the end that the neighbors still had no idea about Bill & Barb's connection to Nicki or to polygamy. Their aloofness from Bill & Barb was due to their own insecurities and fear that Barb & Bill disliked them.

Has anyone noticed that Mary Kay Place can make a dramatic statement with only a look or a short quip? She was amazing in that scene with Nicki, validating Nicki with the weariness of an elder who's "been there, done that", yet not truly nurturing her daughter.

Some people thought the show was sad because Barb was thinking of leaving, but I didn't see it as sad. I thought her struggle was very realistic. Who doesn't take a look at his or her life at some point and say, "How did I get here? Is this really what I want?"

The things that made us laugh: mention of the Utah AG's Safety Net meeting held at the University of Utah, the family watching the news about a polygamist on the run from the law (with an obvious discomfort) and the name of the wanted polygamist, "Orlene" Abbott (my husband laughed and said, "that's a girl name!"), the scene with Nicki and Margene talking to Bill on a cell phone, and the mention of Sandy as the home residence of the Henrickson family.

Okay, so I already knew that this family resides in Sandy, but several of my kids watched the show with us, and they flipped out when they heard the reference on the show. We happen to live in Sandy, so it hits close to home to us, and the kids were really excited and wondrous over the selection of Sandy as the Henrickson's home town.

Bill Paxton has that bewildered and uneasy look nailed. Check it out during the scene between him and the representative of the AG's office, or when he's speaking with the ladies on the phone, and one of the kids shouts out, "Hi dad!"

The best part of the show was the interaction of the family members with each other regarding Barb's leaving, or possibly permantently leaving, the family. As I said in an earlier blog, I can absolutely relate to Margene's statement that she didn't think she could stay married to Bill and Nicki without Barb. Barb is not cowed by Nicki, but Margene is, though it's only a matter of time before she grows into her own and asserts herself better.

Nicki's comment to Bill that this was not just his marriage, that it was their marriage, too, struck a chord in me. Even though each woman is married to Bill, they are all married to each other and are impacted by each other's choices.

I suffered immense grief at my sister-wife's decision to divorce. I was also frustrated with the change in the relationship with my husband, going from polygamy to monogamy. I felt that monogamy was thrust upon me against my will. When I had decided to marry into my family, I became the second wife and for all the ups and downs and joys and heartaches, I wanted the other wife there. I loved her and their children, and envisioned our future together. When she left, I lost my friendship with her because so many things became sour and hurtful. I didn't grow up in a polygamous family and hadn't planned to marry into one or become a plural wife, but once I made the decision to embrace the practice, and do it, I wanted it to work. I didn't want my husband all to myself. In fact, having him around all of a sudden, every day and every night, interfered with time I had to that point in the marriage, set aside for myself, time I spent with family or friends, or pursuing personal interests. When I have explained this in the past to people, I sometimes get the response that I must not really love my husband or want him around, but that's not true. I see it very similar to what couples go through when one or both spouses retire from a career and are home more often in each other's space. They love each other but their lives are changing and the relationship will have to evolve to meet those changes. A lot of times growing pains are exactly that, pains.

In any case, I have now been monogamous for years and have settled into a one-one couple relationship that will have to be unsettled to some extent and re-created should we ever marry again (and I hope we do!).

Barb tells Bill that she sacrificed her love for him in exchange for her love for the family, and my first reaction was, "Why? Why can't she love him and love the family?" I think, though, that I do understand that what she sacrificed was the exclusive relationship she had with Bill, where she and her children were the family, and now that relationship is different. Now, I think marriages change over the years; individuals change and the marriage is forced to change with them to accommodate those changes, or the marriage will die. Sometimes one spouse is ready for change and the other isn't and resists it. I appreciated Bill's apology that he pushed Barb into the polygamous arrangement, and her acknowledgement that she'd been very angry at him. I wanted to see more affection, more emotion. Contemplating a divorce is an emotional experience, but I did like how she decided she was going to stay; without giving him an answer, she got out her bag and closed the car door. Sometimes silence is the best form of communication, and sometimes it's the only form that can truly say what needs to be said because there are no words to adequately describe the feeling.

I love this show. Each woman adds a different dynamic to the Henrickson family. Barb is a corner stone of the family; she is a life force that feeds it. Nicki is preachy and opinionated, but beneath the tough surface, she's insecure and desperate to be loved. Margene is the spark of youthful vitality, which goes hand in hand with her naivete and lack of wisdom that life experience will ultimately temper. Each woman is a catalyst for each other, and for Bill, drawing out different sides of their personalities in a way that both complicates and stimulates the relationships.

Families are living organisms. They are always growing, adapting. They cannot fit in one-size fits all packaging. They are living, breathing entities that come in all shapes and sizes, or can evolve into shapes and sizes that we may not even have envisioned or expected, but which may be the very thing we needed.

For those of you with HBO on Demand, check out the three prequels to the first episode. They're short scenes, set in different time periods prior to the first season. One shows the ladies pitching Bill on their desire to move (from one home?) to three separate homes (where they do end up living, despite Bill's refusal in this scene to move; LOVE his accusation that they are all ganging up against him!); one short shows the first meeting of Margene and Nicki, where Margene is interviewed to be Nicki's babysitter. Nicki proclaims suspiciously, "No one just wants to be a babysitter" to which Margene innocently, and genuinely, responds, "I do!" The final short shows Barb visiting Nicki in the hospital after Nicki has given birth to her first child.

They are enjoyable shorts and I recommend watching them.

Also, check out
Margene's blog at HBO.com! There's a lot of diary accounts from years before, laying a foundation for her introduction to the Henrickson family and polygamy.

Honestly, I wish I could blog like that, just casually talking about whatever, but I always think it'll be too boring or too chatty...
Introspection of a Plural Wife (2005)

By Marilyn Beck and Stacy Jenel Smith
Jun 12, 2007

Tom Hanks and Bill Paxton are planning ahead. They and Hanks' production partner, Gary Goetzman, are tying up rights to the film version of "Reclaiming History: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy," with the aim of turning the 1,632-page Vincent Bugliosi book into a 10-hour HBO mini-series -- but not for a while. Paxton devoted his recent "Big Love" hiatus to researching the Kennedy project and putting the deal together for the tome, which debunks conspiracy theories and names Lee Harvey Oswald as the president's sole assassin. Says Paxton, "The idea hit me -- the story of Kennedy and Oswald could be the greatest story that's never been told."

Paxton will not star in the drama he foresees as years in the making. He says he's too busy playing the lead in "Big Love" while he helps prepare the Kennedy project, which he will co-executive produce and for which he expects to serve as director of some segments. The man whose many acting credits range from "Twister" to "A Simple Plan" turned to filmmaking several years ago when, he says, "I wasn't seeing roles that rocked my world. But then 'Big Love' came along and I couldn't turn it down."

As the show about a polygamist family entered its second season this week, Paxton made the point to this column that he feels any criticism about the program might have proved to be "a tempest in a teapot. HBO was concerned enough about the show that they aired a disclaimer when it started. But now I'm feeling nothing but love for 'Big Love.' I think that these people show a strong moral code. I wish there were more like them."

Does he feel polygamy should be legalized? "I'll tell you this," he says. "I feel it's wrong to enforce one code of freedom on some people and not on others. Who am I to say how people should couple and form family units? Certainly there are cultures in the world where polygamy is accepted. It's not for me, but I can't tell you how others should live. At the end of the day it's about tolerance." Although, he adds, "I do abhor marriage to a young teenage girl." That, as viewers of the series know, is the situation in which Harry Dean Stanton finds himself in the "Big Love" compound.

Bill Paxton
http://www.starpulse.com/news/index.php/2007/06/02/notable_quotables_110

"I think the Henricksons could become America's first family, in a weird way. I'd do 10 seasons of this." Actor Bill Paxton is enjoying playing the head of a polygamist family in TV show Big Love, which returns for a second season this month.

Chole Sevigny
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18999835/site/newsweek/

I love your character on "Big Love" because she's sort of a bitch. Do you think she's a bitch?
I do, but I think that's kind of a simplistic view. I get that a lot in the street—that she's a bitch—and I think it tells a lot more about the person's character who's saying that than about her even.

Are you saying that I'm a bitch for saying that?
No, it is true that she's very manipulative and jealous and has lots of traits that you could say are bitchy, but of course playing the character, you have to love her and believe that everything she does is right.

What are your views on polygamy?
I was always very curious about the women who lived on the compounds. I think I still can't comprehend what their lifestyle is like. Our characters on the show, three consenting adults outside the community, I can understand that a little more, but the compounds are very disturbing.

Would you be able to share a man?
Absolutely not. I mean, we've all juggled guys but living together, no.

'Big Love’ Effort Rolls Out Mock Products

New York — To help promote the second season of series Big Love that begins June 11, HBO has trotted out a line of polygamy products — or so it would seem, from looking at messaging from a current online video ad campaign.

Last week, HBO began running spots for “Polygarol,” a send-up of male sexual performance-enhancers like Viagra, and “Eau de Polygamie,” a spoof on perfume commercials.

The kicker: the faux products feature images of a man involved with a trio of women, just like on Big Love, where Bill Paxton’s Bill Henrickson character juggles the needs of his three wives.

In the case of Polygarol, the protagonist is depicted playing backyard touch football with his teammates before throwing the pigskin through three hanging tires, while the Eau de Polygamie spot shows women hanging laundry before the man catches the preferred scent and chases the wearer through the sheets blowing in the breeze. The tagline: “Set Yourself Apart From His Other Wives.”

HBO senior vice president of consumer marketing Courteney Monroe hopes the campaign will help make Big Love “quite large. Like the show, we want the ads, on the surface, to seem normal. But when [viewers/users/readers] take a closer look they’ll find the campaign, like Big Love, is anything but normal.”

In addition to YouTube, other online partners include NYTimes.com, LATimes.com, iFilm, AOL and iVillage. The ads also appear on HBO’s Web site, which also features fake sponsorship banner ads for Big Love.

Working for the first time with Creature, HBO challenged the Seattle-based agency to do “something unexpected, entertaining, that is clearly tongue in cheek. At the same time, the idea was to make the show more accessible to viewers.”

Monroe said the campaign was designed to be a stealth marketing experience, to build word of mouth: But the ads are effective because they are high quality and have strong production values. The Eau de Polygamie ad looks like something from Estee Lauder.”

Print ads have also been produced and will run in the appropriate Sunday sections of The New York Times and Los Angeles Times on June 3. The message for the PolygaWorld Travel Group states: “The honeymoon begins when you all say, 'I do.’” It’s accompanied by an image of three women in white running after their man on the beach.

The ad for Polybrook Haven, which will be placed in the newspapers’ real-estate section, sports copy reading: “Where plural marriage meets the American Dream.”

Print take-downs for Polygarol and Eau de Polygamie will run in the business and style sections, respectively.

http://www.buddytv.com/articles/big-love/hot-list-big-love-chloe-sevign-...

May 4, 2007

big loveChloe Sevigny’s willingness to try new trends, whether in modeling or in acting, is a positive feature her fans appreciates. Cool and unconventional, she has a unique perspective towards Hollywood, which drives her to earn bold and daring roles. Although she has worked in quite a number of projects, she remains to be keen in improving her craft and attaining more success. At present, she stars on HBO’s Big Love.

Born on November 18, 1974 in Darien, Connecticut, Chloe Sevigny attended Darien High School. Upon moving to Manhattan at the age of 18, she was discovered by a fashion editor due to her distinct style and was asked to intern at a magazine. Gradually, she ventured into modeling, appearing in magazines and representing various fashion labels. As an actress, she got her first break in the independent film Kids. This was followed by several other films that were deemed as cult classics such as Trees Lounge, Gummo, Palmetto, The Last Days of Disco, and Boys Don’t Cry, where he was nominated for Best Supporting Actress for the Oscar and the Golden Globe.

On Big Love, she portrays Nicolette "Nicki" Grant, which gives her the opportunity to play a woman married to a polygamist. This should come across quite easy for the talented actress, given her extensive acting background, not to mention her flair in depicting notorious roles. As Bill’s second wife, she suffers with isolation issues and struggles in balancing her present suburban life with her accustomed authoritarian lifestyle.

-Kris De Leon, BuddyTV Staff Columnist

• Overheard at Tribeca, Gennifer Goodwin, Bill Paxton's youngest wife on HBO's Big Love speaking about polygamy at Sunday's after-party for Day Zero at Park Bar near the meatpacking district: "I think in situations where there's not abuse and there's education, that it's a choice and not a matter of being pressed into it, I don't have a problem with it. I'm selfish, so I could never be a polygamist. But I think for some people it is the answer." Goodwin on researching her role while on location in Salt Lake City: "Naive me, I thought that I could go up to polygamists and tap them on the shoulder and ask them, 'What's it like to be you?' But it's illegal and so controversial that they live in hiding. I thought I could literally get in my car and look for houses with two front entrances ... That trip is probably the last time I'll ever be allowed into the city.

I think the Big Love series is amazing and really shows some of the issues faced with plural marriage. I just wished it focused more on the children's views and also all the routines you need to be in with large families. If I didn't have a rota with my family, I don't think I would ever cope. Mealtimes, laundry, shopping and schooling is all really hard work with big families if you don't have some kind of schedule to keep it all together. Big Love seem to only seem to express the bedtime rota.

Holly

http://blogs.sltrib.com/plurallife/2007/03/big-love-season-2.htm

From Brooke Adams SL Trib Blog on the Plural Life:

An HBO crew is in Utah this week to film a "documentary-style" feature that will air with the launch of the second season of "Big Love."

So when is that? June 17, I've been told.

I was asked to be part of the docufeature, but had to decline. Got to keep that sharply defined line dividing fact and fiction, ya know.

The last episode of "Big Love" ended with a nice cliffhanger: Barb getting unceremoniously booted from a "Mother of the Year" awards banquet because of her plural lifestyle.

It will be interesting to see where the show goes next, given the backdrop of Warren Jeffs' trial, the various court actions in Utah and Arizona and the fundamentalist community's ongoing effort to defend the lifestyle.

Here is another source about Big Love's return. It is scheduled to air at 8 p.m.!!
2 hours earlier than last year, hmmmmm.

http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=7333

I was just really surprised by the announcement that both Emmylou Harris and Ellen Burstyn will be on season two. They are two of my favorites. Ellen was wonderful in "The Big Easy" - she played the investigator/girlfriend opposite Dennis Quaid.

Wonder what part Emmylou is going to play. Things have been mighty quiet about her roll. Anyone hear any news on this please SHARE!!

I don't normally watch TV and I definitely have never been a "fan" of any TV shows in the past. But I have a sense now of what it's like to "chomp at the bit" waiting for the next season of a show to finally air.

When something comes along that addresses a subject of interest, there's no way of telling who it might reach and affect. Now if only someone would come out with a Libertarian themed show...oh wait, that was "Firefly". Fox nipped it in the bud after just 11 episodes...*sigh*

"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared."
-Buddha

http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/custom/aetoday/bal-ae.dvd15oct15,0,...
HBO Home Video / $99.98
When the teasers for HBO's new series, Big Love, first came out, a television show about a family of polygamists seemed indescribably sleazy.

In the series' first complete season, being released Tuesday on DVD, Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton) has three wives (Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin) who live in adjoining homes, and with whom he has fathered seven children. Because polygamy is illegal, the Henricksons lead lives of subterfuge and deceit.

Before the show made its premiere, it was tempting to think: Throw 'em all in jail, even the kids. But then we saw the first episode. And the second. And the third. Despite our most cherished notions of what constitutes a family, we found ourselves rooting for the Henricksons to remain intact.

The series plays down the more unconventional aspects of polygamy and portrays the Henricksons as almost ordinary. Bill owns two home-goods stores and doesn't overdo his patriarchal role. First wife Barb (Tripplehorn) is a cancer survivor and substitute schoolteacher.

Most important, the interactions between Bill and the three wives are immediately familiar. Barb and second wife Nicki (Sevigny) behave like two fiercely competitive, yet devoted, sisters. Nicki ruthlessly bosses the eager-to-please Margene (Goodwin), Bill's young third wife.

The Henricksons struggle with the same tensions that beset every family, but because of their peculiar living situation, those tensions are writ large.

The characters are marvels of complexity. Nicki, for instance, is manipulative and a compulsive spender, but she also has the street smarts that Bill desperately needs if the family is to survive.

It's fascinating to trace the hidden, psychological kinship between family members. Nicki is a chip off the old block. She has the same instinct for sussing out an opponent's weakness, the same willingness to fight hard and dirty as her father, Roman Grant - the self-appointed "Prophet" of a polygamist commune and Bill's nemesis.

You know that the Henricksons have gotten under your skin when you start to think polygamy might be a reasonable option.

Special features include two episodes with audio commentaries, plus a behind-the-scenes look at the filming of the title sequence.

[Mary Carole McCauley]
mary.mccauley@baltsun.com

i am actually getting married with a second woman under the blessing of our lord Jesus Christ.
however i was not really sure where i was going so i made some seach on the internet and i was really surprised about this site. it was a great source of information and recently i went to talk in a nice forum and the discussion is turning more and more interesting in a sense that even if some people contradict, most of them give a positive suggestion in the problems that arise.
the site is:
http://www.iwishisaidno.com/forum/2184-polygamy.html

If was and is quite a fascinating discussion where i could express my points of views.
anyone here could tell me about his own experience??
thanks in advance

Margene has posted a new blog that talks about her meeting Bill and first interviewing at HomePlus and meeting Don the first time LOL

http://boards.hbo.com/forum.jspa?forumID=700000143&ntrack_para1=insidehb...

Has anyone else noticed the distinct lack of childcare going on in this family? while they are running around caught up in their own lives who is watching the children?

I have only seen (or remember) one scene that reflected on the negligence of the mothers..When Barb reprimanded Niki for not watching her boys when they drew on Margene's walls.

Is it just me or does this ring true to you?

Chantelle

Someone commented that only LDS people would understand some of the house decorations. I am not LDS, so I was curious what the house decorations were and what they were used for.
Thanks,
Nicole

Salt Lake Tribune, The (UT)

Date: May 2, 1999
Section: Utah
Edition: Final
Page: C1

Polygamous Mom Slips Out Back Door of Ceremony One of `Utah's Remarkable Mothers' Has Polygamous Past, Slips Out Back Door

STEPHEN HUNT THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE The Salt Lake Tribune

COPYRIGHT 1999, THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

As Gov. Mike Leavitt and his wife Jacalyn honored 24 Utah women as "great examples and symbols of motherhood," another nominee quietly slipped out the back door of the Governor's Mansion because her polygamous past had become known by ceremony organizers.
Shauna Lynne Darger -- nominated by her son for the award -- arrived for Saturday's ceremony along with two dozen of "Utah's Remarkable Mothers" from around the state.

But the Riverton mother of 10 never stepped up to accept her tribute.

Informed that Darger had been a polygamist, ceremony organizers confronted her. Darger acknowledged having a past polygamous relationship, then left the mansion with three grown children who had accompanied her, said the governor's spokesperson, Vicki Varela.

"I'm declining the award," Darger told a Salt Lake Tribune reporter, refusing comment about whether she currently is in a polygamous relationship.

Darger was one of four wives of Joseph Lynn Darger, of Herriman, until he died in 1995.

The woman was pictured along with the 24 other nominees in a full-page ZCMI department store ad in Saturday's Tribune.

The governor learned of the controversy only after the ceremony, Varela said. "He respected this as the best choice for this person to make under the circumstances," Varela said.

Organizers did not try to persuade Darger to stay.

"It was clear she was choosing to leave the event," Varela said, adding Darger did not want to attract negative attention to the ceremony, nor to herself.

Varela said the focus on polygamy was unfortunate for the other mothers "and for this mother's mothering which, I have no doubt, is honorable."

Family and friends nominated Darger by submitting letters to ZCMI and the Governor's Initiative on Families Today.

Criminal background checks were run on the nominees, Varela said, "but there is nothing that would have brought this to our attention."

Laura Chapman, a former member of the anti-polygamy group Tapestry of Polygamy, said: "There are some good mothers in polygamy. I don't think that should exclude her from an award. But if she's indoctrinating her children to break the law, that's not a good mom."

Polygamy was renounced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in 1890, and six years later outlawed by the Utah Constitution.

Darger won a place among the list of 25 women, in part, for starting a successful catering business after her husband died. The business has allowed Darger to support and nurture her children at home, according to a son's nomination letter.

Added the son: "Her daily heroism both inspires me and epitomizes the high office of motherhood."

The other honorees were: Belva Ashton, Salt Lake City; Evelyn Bagley, Koosharem; Merry Cannon, Roy; Fawn Coltharp, Salt Lake City; Kristen C. Davidson, Layton; Barbara Davis, Payson; Jean Gail Davis, Orem; Christina Eggers, West Valley City; Kathy Elmer, West Valley City; Lavonda H. Hanson, Price; Ruth Jensen, Moab; Carma Lee Kershaw, Sandy; Ardis Kettle, Taylorsville; Clara Maryboy, Montezuma Creek; Sherry McKellar, Spanish Fork; Kathy Scarle, Murray; Kathy Bradshaw Skousen, South Jordan; Shalise Jacobsen Stover, Layton; Darlene K. Telford, Randolph; Patricia Lewis Topham, Salt Lake City; Erika Ward, Sandy; Therese W. Warne, South Jordan; Susan B. Woodland, St. George; and Karen Sue Woolsey, Salt Lake City.

(c) 1999 The Salt Lake Tribune. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of Media NewsGroup, Inc. by NewsBank, Inc.

http://www.tvsquad.com/2006/06/05/big-love-the-ceremony-finale/

Big Love: The Ceremony (Finale)

Posted Jun 5th 2006 12:50AM by Michael Sciannamea
Filed under: Drama, HBO, OpEd, Big Love

The Henrickson Families(S01E12) Well, you just knew that the Henrickson family secret was going to be exposed. What makes it so surprising is that they all seem shocked by it. But I guess they deluded themselves into thinking that they were a "normal" family, at least in their own community.

The season finale of Big Love certainly had its share of twists and turns but, at its core, there's no getting around the fact that Bill Henrickson and his hypocritical lifestyle of polygamy was going to get him sooner or later. In a way, you almost felt sorry for Barb, the first wife, for being devastated about being disqualified from the Mother of the Year competition, but she does support the practice of polygamy, which doesn't give her much of a moral ground to stand on.

The battle between Bill and Roman spilled into nearly tragic consequences, with brother Joey's wife Wanda poisoning Roman's psychotic son Alby with antifreeze. In addition, we learned that Wanda was one who poisoned Bill and Joey's father early on in the season, and we also learned that Wanda has a penchant for poisoning people who come across as threatening. Obviously, the war between Bill and Roman is going to get a lot nastier and it looks like someone is going to get seriously hurt. The fact that Bill now has a seat on the U.E.B. Council will lead to Roman taking drastic measures to protect his turf.

It was also interesting seeing the storyline of young Rhonda, who is slated to become Roman's next wife, who at the age of 14 seems confused by the whole thing. It appears she wants out of the life she is about to lead, but no one is going the extra mile to help her.

It was almost poignant when Margene and Nicki went in to console Barb after the ceremony, but she put it in perspective when she said, "I got what I deserved." But it was Bill who probably should have made that statement. He's put all of his loved ones at risk, and it'll be interesting to see what he'll do next.

All in all, it was a good first season for Big Love. What started out as a bizarre story turned very compelling over the last 12 weeks, and the writing and actors have come into their own. I'm looking forward to the next season, and s

eeing how this whole thing shakes out.

I'm up to date on the episode's as far a i know. And, have been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The whole Bill's dad running around urinating in sinks
The way Bill's mother is considered an outcast for being different from the rest.
That damn little dog chewing everything up.
The daughter of Bill being sadden for her father having to lie and hide.
Barb Having feeling's of doubt and, being jealous.
Nikki and, her ever so Drama problem causing attitude.
Margie being so needy and, sneaking off to have a friend.
Those stupid idiot's on bike's sending Nikki to hell for sin. And, taking her address on some sort of chart.

Now granted in family~ Drama is all around. But, none of us that I know of are on t.v. And, hey You Dad or husband won't be going to jail if you have a "regular" "normal" family. One husband, one wife, children.

And, since this series has come out. I have been waiting for the media, drama tv crap to start pouring out how sad this family must be. And, how many problem's you have to deal with when chosing this as your life style. And, of course "following your religous belief"..

But, I have to tell you. Other than My father n' law never pissing in my sink. They sure look like a crazy unpredictable normal family to me. And, I hope that the viewer's can laugh along with the show and, understand that everyone has a crazy family member or, something in there household that take's heart and, struggle to get threw. And, sometime's everything is on ends.

And, the biggest issue anyone should get from this show in my point of view. Is, if government would leave people to live there live's, marry who and, how many people they choose. This family would have about a thousand less thing's to worry about.
Truely if the wives could be able to be viewed as equal in public as well in the view of the law alot less drama would occur.

~ Margie would be able to say No, thanks. I am married.
~ She wouldn't have to be known as a single un-wed mother.

~ Nikki would probably still get harrased by those stupid freaks on the bike..
~ But, Nikki wouldn't feel like crap when she went to go to the store and buy something for her family. She'd have her own Members Card with a family discount.

Anyways, Just babbling My Take On the show...
AND< don't forget is it JUST ANOTHER DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must say, they are doing a good job of making Nicki not likeable. I guess in the lifestyle she grew up with, if you didn't look out for yourself no one did. I thought it was a great episode.

[From our blog Polygamy Now http://polygamynow.blogspot.com as requested by Sage.]

Our very first blog entry was a comparison of our family to the Big Love family. As the show progresses, we notice a few things.

No one, but no one, seems to be happy. Every single character in Bill's family is troubled, and some of them seriously so. Doesn't anyone benefit? We're very happy with our own polygamous family, and concerned that the Big Love message may be seen as "Polygamy will hurt you."

There's rampant jealousy among Bill's three wives. This is wrong. Contrast this to the cameraderie shown by Frank Harlow's wives, Don Embry's wives, and Roman Grant's wives. In our family, Karen and Lisa are the sisters that they've always wanted to have and be.

The wives plan together to share time with Bill, and each has her own living space and kitchen. So do we. And while I don't take Viagra, I understand Bill's performance anxiety, especially when things get stressful. What I don't understand is why he's hiding it from his wives. Male pride?

I guess the bottom line for me is that Big Love has dramatically raised awareness of polygamy, which helps all of us who are practicing this form of family.

I am not sure where the writers and directors are going with this. I have never met anyone as gross as Bill's dad. I don't know anyone that pees in the sink. That was just sick.

It would appear as time goes on they are really making this family out to look as miserable as possible. Barb crying, Nicki crying, Bill and Barb lying to the rest of the family, kids look miserable and lost. I know they were not going for “pro-polygamy” here, but is there any happiness at all they are going to show?

There seems to be an overwhelming amount of the show directed and men’s private parts which seems odd. In a show about polygyny there are more women then men.

Hopefully as the season winds up they will show at least some cohesiveness in Bills family. Don seems to be the only decent one at times.

Site Mod

Well, I looked on HBO's web site, and it looks like the last episode this season will be on May 21st, a bit of a disapointment, we were just getting used to turning the tv there on Sunday night,lol....I wonder when the new season will start??

I'm glad I found this website, because I'm surprisingly intrigued by "Big Love" and hope to learn something from those whose lives mirror the ones depicted on the show (not quite as soapish in real life, I hope).

The show is interesting for many reasons, dealing with private vs. public faces, authority and compromise, sacrifice vs. duty, societal pressures and prejudices, money and power, etc. Maybe we'll go into these on future posts, but first I'd like to ask my most basic question.

Why must the Henricksons live in the heartland of the enemy? "Big Love" shows us a mainstream LDS population in Salt Lake City that is explosively intolerant of polygamous families. Even the Utah Attorney General is shown having an office dealing with polygamy, which seems as intolerant and unacceptable as having one for interracial marriage or homosexuality.

"Big Love" clearly shows us the Henricksons living in terror of being found out -- the risk to Bill's business as well as to his family. Look at how Ben hit the ceiling when Margene invited the neighbor over -- he's just a kid but already conditioned to fear. There seems to be no need. They've left the Juniper Creek compound behind them. They're not welcome to worship either at the compound or at any mainstream LDS church, so they've resorted to home worship, which like home schooling can be done anywhere.

I live in an urban, multicultural environment where no one that I'm aware of has ever felt unwelcome. Race, wealth, sexual orientation -- never been an issue as far as I know. Frankly, if you live next door to me, just keep your yard neat and don't play loud music late at night and then it's really none of my concern how you structure your family. (Although insurance and Social Security must be a bear, right?)

Fully open, out-of-the-closet polygamous families still are quite rare, as you'll know better than I do. The first pioneers to go fully public in places like Baltimore will bear the burden previously borne by the first interracial marriages and same-sex couples. But, with time, other people inevitably realize they have nothing to fear from the new, and they come to accept and eventually to barely notice or care.

So, watching my new favorite show, seeing the Henricksons' LDS co-workers and neighbors freak out at even the merest hint of polygamy, I keep wanting to scream at Bill: "Get out of there and go where you'll eventually be accepted. Think about Nikki's and Margene's children when they're the age Ben and Sarah are now but still are unable to acknowledge their father in public."

Just my thoughts, and I wonder what you're experience is with being open in the monogamous, non-Mormon world. Thanks.

I loved it – again! The terminology is so right, the scenes with Margene at church, goodness gracious. And the neighbor lady saying “got cha” – made me shiver.

So, Nicki, maybe she has a heart? Maybe she does not – time will tell  Not really.. she sure did the scene well when she broke down over the credit cards and also asking Barb if it was “over” – the affair. None of us “get” the whole affair thing, but hey, it makes a good story line and added drama.

Someone has read and asked a lot of questions – sure got the terminology on the “reassignment” thing down tight. Wonder if Bill is gonna cave in to Roman or not? At this point his whole family is homeless, brothers on the edge of a breakdown, mom is nuts (loved the gun shot on the phone – the whole room erupted here!).

The Heather scenes were interesting too. Oh, I would love to sit down and discuss polygamy with you. Brash and curious. Loved the Alby banging his head on the wall scene too.

Previews for next week are great – if we are trying to keep secret from the neighborhood lets just move the whole family in from Juniper Creek. Sheese. Was Rolling.

Around here, we all agree…. Fastest hour in television…… dang, want more…..don’t…. want….. to…. Wait……. A ……. Week.

I haven't seen episode 6 yet, but I thought the family acted as if Nicki was already pregnant when it seemed to me she was just announcing that she wanted to get pregnant. Does anyone here ever say congratulations to someone who WANTS to get pregnant? Anyhow, it seems episode 6 reveals the truth of her deception: she is taking birth control pills, while everyone else is accommodating her need for Bill to get her pregnant. I told my husband flat out she was lying at the end of the 5th episode, that she was not only NOT pregnant, but was just trying to assert herself after feeling saddened by Bill sneaking off with Barb (and her brother Alby claiming that Bill only married her for money, etc).

Also, apparently in episode 6 there is a dispute between Bill's parents about whether or not Bill's mom should advance from being the second wife to the first wife. Obviously they're talking about legal marriage, right? How many second wives out there are craving first wife status, I want to know. I remember being ticked actually, when my husband's first wife divorced, and some guy told me that that was good for me, because now I would be the "first" wife. Honestly, I wasn't a "first" wife, I was an "only" wife, something I didn't want to be! I was actually proud to be a second wife; besides, if all wives are equal in the eyes of God and family, "first" wife only means legal wife (not equal in the eyes of the state).

Obviously other families do things in a variety of ways, but those are my thoughts on that! :o)

This is what I got from TV Squad today:

Posted Apr 17th 2006 1:41PM by Michael Sciannamea
TV Squad

ben henrickson(S01E06) Fathers and sons often have awkward conversations, especially during the teenage years. Any of us who have had them with our Dads can relate. However, in all the conversations that I have either read about, heard, seen, or experienced myself, none ever gave me the chills more than when Ben Henrickson asked his father Bill if he was worthy of "living the principle" i.e. having the ability to have more than one wife, just like dear old Dad.

And dear old Dad Bill is having a rough go of it lately. Nicki last week said she wanted to bring "another soul" into the family, so Bill does his best to make that happen. However, Nicki is seen taking birth control pills, so what exactly is Nicki up to? If you remember a couple of weeks ago, Bill found Nicki in a somewhat compromising position with her father, his nemesis, Roman Grant, so could Nicki be doing her father's bidding in her own wacky way?

Getting back to the multiple wives situation, Frank Henrickson (Bill's dad) is about to bury his "first wife" Roberta, who from what we heard, was a very loving and giving person. However, Bill's mother Lois, Frank's "second wife," is flabbergasted to learn that she will not be made first wife now, which means she is entitled to none of Frank's assets. Bill does his best to reason with his father, who is not exactly the warmest of men. Frank finally relents, but only after accepting money and home repair work from his son. (How insane was the scene where Bill, Frank, and Joe went to a deparment store to purchase a casket for Roberta? Does this really exist in Utah?)

If Ben does decide to take on more than one wife, he's getting an education of how this type of family struggles to maintain appearances, especially when Nicki is making trouble at one of Bill's stores trying to get a part for Margene's garbage disposal at a family discount, only to learn that in the eyes of Home Plus, she's not family. Barb, as usual, saves the day in her calm and collected manner.

Margene also seems to be getting a little too close to their neighbor for comfort, and Ben confronts her about it. Both Margene and Nicki are bristling from the idea that in order to keep the family from being discovered of being polygamy by the authorities, they have to keep an extremely low profile and lie as a matter of convenience.

Bill and Roman's dispute is going to come to a head sooner or later. Bill threatens Roman with exposure of his shady real estate dealings to the authorities, and Roman makes veiled references to Bill's safety. Again, Nicki may play a role here, either in keeping the peace or sifting information to her father secretly.

The next few weeks should see some situations hitting a critical mass. It doesn't look like Margene and Nicki can keep things quiet for too much longer, and Bill and Roman are heading toward some sort of violent clash. If "another soul" were to be brought into this family, that kid may want to run away screaming as soon as it is able to.

http://www.millsweekly.com/vnews/display.v/ART/2006/04/17/44430ae55b3dd

Found this blog this morning from a California College ....

Perilous Years For Girls

By Elizabeth F. Clayton
April 17, 2006

In what is only one example of the never-ending influence that American media has on my life, it took the new HBO show Big Love to make me actually think about polygamy. The battle over polygamy has long been one between fringe Mormon-based branch groups and the rest of society. Well, I never thought I'd say this, but fringe religious extremists - make room for one more.

Let's take a moment here to define polygamy. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines polygamy as "marriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time," as opposed to polygyny, "the state or practice of having more than one wife or female mate at one time" or polyandry, "the state or practice of having more than one husband or male mate at one time." So polygamy encompasses both polygyny and polyandry, and hence is the term that I'm choosing to use. I'm just as OK with women having plural husbands as I am with men having plural wives.

So why do I support polygamy? Because people should be able to have the kinds of families that they want to have. While gay rights supporters cringe to hear the polygamists use gay rights as a reason for polygamist rights, I have to say that they have a point. The idea that a family consists of a husband, a wife and their children is obviously outdated.

Consenting adults should be allowed to love and marry who they want to love and marry - even if that person is already married to someone else. Notice I said adults - I'm against polygamy, or anything else, being used to allow or force underage teenagers to marry. Obviously, there are cases where polygamy is used to subjugate women or abuse young girls. But hey, that can happen with traditional marriage, too. A man only needs one wife to be a wife-beater. What accepting polygamy is about is accepting people being able to live and love the way that they want to, even if that way is non-traditional.

Polygamy is not for me, and I suspect that it's not for most people in today's society. But for the people for whom it works, and for who it gives the type of family that they want to have? Well, I'm certainly not comfortable saying that they shouldn't be allowed to have their lifestyle of choice. Are you?

Thank Elizabeth for her thoughts or tell her why she's wrong after you read Perilous Years: the blog.

www.perilousyears.blogspot.com

Ms. Clayton is an aspiring nuclear physicist/kindergarten teacher and a Mills senior. The title of her column comes from a 1940s advertisment for Pink Pills, marketed to help teen girls who have "outgrown their strength."She welcomes all comments, concerns and compliments..

Yes I agree to the most part what everyone is saying but I think Nicky is being under rated as an actress, although she is sulky, moody etc (I think she’s more realistic and reflective of the difficulty’s faced ) the final seen when she tells everyone she is with child, barbs response and the heart sharing was just perfect . In the end this program is doing far more for proactively raising positive awareness than 50 years of letter writing and campaigning; in representing (so far anyway) those of us who choose this path, and choose to love in a open and caring family….kind of scary what power TV yields if HBO thought Romans home was the ideal instead of Bills huh.

Well, I think the plot and the main characters have already pretty much been summarized.

So I’ll make mine of the plot brief...ahem.

I personally enjoy the show very much. I think it accurately portrays the lifestyle of polygamy. Though it seems no matter where I read, I oft hear complaints that, in a nutshell, the show is inaccurate. Though, by saying this much, I feel people are putting a stereotype on polygamists, assuming that all of them are generally very celibate. As I watch the scenes of intimacy, I take it as a perfection of the show rather than a flaw. It helps point out that not EVERY polygamist family is the same. It shows that this man is very intimate with his wives. Can't say such a man doesn't exist, and that it is but a false bit of dramatization. After that bit, you look at the baser core concepts of the show. These, which some of you may agree with me, are more accurate than I could have ever expected of HBO.

Onward. I’m no adult, this much I know, and begrudgingly accept. Therefore I won’t go into what I think about the main characters of the show, as I do not think I could give accurate comparisons to my own life. Instead, I want to look at children of the show.

Me myself, while watching the show, often see if I can make comparisons between the scripted life of Sarah and Ben Hendrickson, and my own. Each Sunday I’m sucked a little further into the show out of amazement. I think they did a most excellent job portraying Ben and Sarah. I find myself having dealt with a lot of the problems they face during these shows. I won’t go on too long, but here is one or two.

During one of the earlier episodes you discover that some of Sarah's friends know that her parents are living a polygamist lifestyle. As soon as the episode was over, I saw several posts stating how that was inaccurate as a polygamist family would never be so insecure as to let that kind of knowledge leak. I’m sorry folks. You have teens, large chance, they have friends who know that your polygamist. Teenagers cannot be expected to live a normal social life and have their friends be completely oblivious to the parent’s lives.

It doesn't seem like it, but we teens, we can put 2 + 2 together, and come up with 4. There are signs to recognizing a polygamist family, and when it comes to a teen being social, they tend to stick out a little more.

-Bliss

This has been my favorite episode yet! I absolutely adored Bill and Barb and the obvious love they shared... even if it was a little affair-like.

Nicki made me proud and I usually cannot STAND her.... even though I enjoyed her standing up for the family, it annoyed me that she didn't watch her boys in the store...

Marge makes me sad... she needs attention or something... maybe just to mature a little.

And who couldn't just ADORE Barb? She is very classy and sincere and always trying to do the right thing....

This show is so great... a MUST SEE!

We were all excited this morning to hear that season two goes in to production soon!

I liked episode 5 for several reasons. I really liked the way Barb handled herself with the politician and his wife – totally class.

Rhonda singing “You’re so Vain” was a huge highlight – where did they find this girl?

Nicki showed a lot of spine in standing up to Alby. Loved it when Alby, after being told to get lost by Nicki, turns and slaps his friend. Perfect….. While Nicki is not my favorite, that was a noteworthy action. Of course, none of us think she is pregnant.

The lady at Home Plus is going to be a problem in the future it would appear – another antagonist enters the picture. Maybe she needs to get together with the neighbor across the street from Margie LOL

Looking forward to episode six, a mini showdown between Bill and Roman.

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_3696478

An Editorial From the Salt Lake Tribune this morning....

A duty to entertain

In reference to Kevin Brady's letter (“Be honest about LDS-bashing,” Forum, April 5), he writes that HBO has a responsibility as a major broadcast network. I'm wondering what he believes that responsibility might be?
I know it's not HBO's responsibility to preach moral values, nor is it to pander to the Mormons here in Utah. Ultimately, it's their obligation to entertain their subscribers, a task in which I believe they've succeeded.
If Kevin Brady, or any other resident of this fine state, is so offended by “Big Love,” I suggest they change the channel, or cancel their HBO subscription.

Greg Sullivan
Murray

I think it is an entertaining show, though I suspect it will turn into a soap opera like most HBO series. But, for now, it is fun to watch.

* I watched episode 4 last night... It didn't seem like a lot happened, other than just building tension overall. I feel like the plot with the daughter (at the party) was just kind of tossed in there, it seemed forced.

Big Love is trend setting and definitely intriguing. why would any one feel threatened by a Quasi-Factual soap opera, is beyond me.
These people are committed at least by there believes and a marital ceremony. Far better than most who sleep with Sandy, Sally & Mary Jo at the office and go home to Patty and the kids. Then pretend all is well right up until the divorce happens..........
If polygamys time has come again then from what I can tell of the things going on in the world its a welcome trend at least from this. At least it seems there is some commitment to something other than themselves.

From the Salt Lake Tribune......

Article Last Updated: 3/30/2006 02:35 PM
Update: Governor says 'Big Love' not hurting Utah image
The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake Tribune
Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. is unimpressed by the controversial new HBO show "Big Love."
The governor and first lady tuned in for the pilot episode three weeks ago and found it lacking. At his monthly KUED press conference Thursday, Huntsman called the program that is riling some Utahns "contentless" and "pointless."
"Hollywood tends to rely on extremes," the governor said. "I'm not sure too many people are swayed" by the image of Utah portrayed by the HBO show.
The weekly television show follows the travails of a Salt Lake County polygamist and his three wives. It comes at the same time state tourism leaders are trying to launch a new branding campaign for the state, including the slogan "Life Elevated."
Huntsman said the state does not have to try to counter the stereotypes probed by HBO.
"I like to think our state is doing a pretty good job selling itself."

I am posting this today with permission of the author. I think it is very well written and to the point.....

As one of the 40,000 polygamists living in this coutry, I would like to thank you for portraying us in a realistic and sensitive light in your series "Big Love."
I am impressed that you can so often hit the emotions and realities of being in a poly family so perfectly. You deserve immense credit for the good you have done for our movement by not showing us as a cultic group, like those groups that are so often shown on shows such as "20/20," "City Confidential," etc. God knows there are poly cults out there that do abuse women and children, but the vast majority of us decry the groups that do such things.

It is time that someone took polygamy out of the closet and put it in the living rooms of this country. I have enjoyed hearing this show discussed positively in my place of work by people who would normally just believe that polygamy is immoral and involves all sorts of sordid crimes.

I know that there is a move afoot to put pressure on you to cancel the program, please don't. We are the gays of this decade, and the closet is beginning to feel mighty tight.

Thanks again for being positive about this lifestyle choice.

Warm regards,
Karis Smith

I've waited a few days to commit this to writing. Episode 3 so far has been my favorite. It’s difficult not to feel sorry for Nikki during the birthday party scene but it’s also easy to be angry with her. The acting going on here is impressive. The look on Nikki’s face as she enters Barb’s kitchen to borrow the folding chairs after the argument with Bill is incredible. She looks hurt, subdued, sad, out of place, conflicted, etc.etc. but whatever it is, I’ve had that face in my mind all week..

The mural of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young and Roman (eeks) was very well done. They used part of real mural and then added Roman. It was extremely effective. The fact was mentioned in that scene that Joseph Smith did indeed teach the principle of plural marriage but then that statement ends up being twisted by the media. The end result in the newspaper headline was that polygamists are just like gays.

All in all, we are in for the long run, however long that may be, with Big Love. It is the talk just about everywhere I go. People are talking. Talking is good.

One reviewer ended her review this way this week
“Watching this show, the viewer becomes Bill in a way, subtly shifting loyalties as the situation dictates, alternating between affection and annoyance. Big Love is far more than That Show With All the Wives.”

I could not agree more!

After seeing the episodes of big love has made me realize that is just a drama of fictional people playing parts of three different women with different personalities and different issues which with proper Guidence from the Lord would provide that sex is not the primary issue. But having a loving relationship with women who love God almighty.

Mireille Enos (Shark) will become a series regular on the third season of HBO's Big Love. The actress has been appearing in a recurring role in the polygamy drama. She's plays the possible newest wife of Joey - Kathy Marquart.

Check out the photo of her and other rolls at
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0257969/

Mireille Enos (Shark) will become a series regular on the third season of HBO's Big Love. The actress has been appearing in a recurring role in the polygamy drama. She's plays the possible newest wife of Joey - Kathy Marquart.

Check out the photo of her and other rolls at
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0257969/

Joey's Newest Wife Now A Regular

Mireille Enos (Shark) will become a series regular on the third season of HBO's Big Love. The actress has been appearing in a recurring role in the polygamy drama. She's plays the possible newest wife of Joey - Kathy Marquart.

Check out the photo of her and other rolls at
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0257969/

Did Big Love get a season 3? I haven't seen or heard yet if they idi.

Found on YouTube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=npTi9KviYmU

Well after just watching the last episode I think the mormon church helped write the script and will be glad they wont have to purge even more saints from their flocks for joining a polygamous clan. :) It is sad that the show is not showing the equal and oppisite side of the womens relationship...there is much more charity then what is being shown and as a first wife I know that my sister wife shows great restraint and patience when she feels like throwing jabs, which I probably desearve..lol .

I doubt the show will ultimately show the family maturing into a true celestial family..maybe because as of yet none exist..or that HBO even understands what plural families are trying to accomplish. After all some of us are still trying to define that ourselves..but I do know that I am a kinder mother and better person for living this law. Thanks to my sister wife and all women willing share the love.

Well, keeping in mind that it IS HBO... the openning scene of the openning episode was a 'sex scene' and the episode seemed to focus on that quite a bit.

I also found a number of sterio-types, including the idea that the man has to 'preform' every single night and the use of viagra....

But in as much as there seemed to be some attempt at treating the topic with a bit of dignity and not to slate ALL polygamists as 'bad guys', it was okay.

I DON'T begin to think it is a particularly realistic or fair representation of polygamy... but then to really judge that you would have to have some idea what the "average polygamist" is. And I really think there is no ONE good answer to that question. What IS an "average" polygamist??

I do think the first episode (all that I have seen) does try to give some idea that DIFFERENT "polygamist-types" live and believe DIFFERENTLY. If Big Love gets that message acrossed to the general veiwing public... it will probably have been a good thing, all in all.

IMHO

SusanKing

I realize there wouldn't be a show without the underlying catiness and tension between the wives...but how much of that is truly realistic? Are we, as a society, so entrenched in jealousy and strife that we can't even see another human being for what they are and love them without trying to control and manipulate them or the situation for our own benefit? Even if the benefit is superficial or to just save face?

That's my only real beef with the show...the drama

But wait...it IS a drama. Duh me. ;-) Maybe it's where they are putting the focus. Or maybe that's the only way they can make it work.

I liked the show. I'll be watching it again.

I will be very interested to see how things pan out with the rest of the episodes. And I'm even more curious to see if it gets a season 2.