Seeking my forever family...

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Skylarrain82's picture
Seeking my forever family...

Everyone who responds to this ad tells me "I am the perfect woman".  I am not the perfect woman, I am flawed.  I am not looking for the perfect man, stop telling me what you think I want to hear.  I am looking for someone like myself who is true to what they want and if its not a match then we go on our merry way, nothing is wrong with that.  No one who have to settle or compromise for what they want in life.  

As you all know, so many factors go into finding the right new member of your family, and for that individual to find the right family match, it can be trying as well.  At 34 years old, I'm still searching.  I am fortunante enough to be independent but a lot of things are up in the air right now. I just relocated 2 weeks ago  I am working hard to secure a new job and a new place to live. I have 2 college degrees and have worked since 14 so I'm not looking for your families paycheck or a free place to stay.

  In any type of relationship, but specifically in the poly lifestyle, there are areas that you have to compromise for the good of the family.  Areas I am not willing to compromise are:

Traditional Values - Not every aspect of my life is traditional, but I strongly believe in the husband being the leader and head of the household.  While he needs to respect the opinions of his wife/wives, I was raised and believe the husband is the ultimate decision maker. My husband is a true conversative. There are things that are women's work (cooking, cleaning, rearing children, laundry, grocery shopping, doctors appts).  There are things that are men's work (disciplinary, yardwork, car work, income.) Additionally, it is important that my future husband meet and shake my fathers hand before starting my life with my forever family.  This is due to the respect I have for my family, and also a something I want as the foundation of my marriage to my husband. Positivity is key.  If you are a person who is generally described as angry, grumpy, short-fused, impatient, then you are not my husband.  I will not move to your home without visiting first.

Children - I want children and this is not something I am willing to compromise.   If your family already has children I will love them as my own but I also want to bear my own child, whether this be naturally or through adoption.  A baby not a toddler or child but to rear a child from beginning to end.

Sexuality - I am not interested in any sexual relationship with a sisterwife/wives.  Intimacy is very private and is something I will only share with my husband.  During courtship, I will not discuss my sexual style, nature, how I am in bed, preferences, my sexual physicalities (i.e. whether or not I'm shaven), position preferences, lingerie, toys.  If you start your conversation without these traits and feel as we get closer it is appropiate bc we are courting, I don't feel this way.  You are not the one God has chosen for me.

Religion - While not a requirement for my future family, I do believe in God and am religious.  Not a bible thumper, and have had my struggles off and on with the church.  I still want the freedom to pray, read the bible, and on rare occasions go to church, even if my family does not consider itself religious. My mother is ill, it is have been my normal for 5 years so at this point in my life, my prayer within the church is at an all time high. 

Politics: I am a black, Catholic, female, republican.   I do not ignore the liberal party.  I subscribe to all news outlets bc I believe in keeping your friends close and your enemies closer.  I want to be informed on all opinions outside of what I support.  I am pro-choice and support the LGBT community to the fullest extent.  Told you, I'm flawed.


Aside from these 5 areas, I am open to all and respect all opinions at the very least.  If interested in knowing more, please let me know.  What is your stance in these 5 areas?

Joleneakamama's picture
Welcome to the site!


What a great post!
You were articulate, reasonable, and specific in what you are searching for.
I hope you get responses that are as well thought out, and ultimately find all you hope for in a family.


A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes~

Skylarrain82's picture
Thank you


Thank you for your kind words!