How to bring up an old idea?

Forums: 

I'm 29 and my wife is 26....we have been married since 2005. We had discussed the idea of bringing another woman to be a wife for the both of us. But things never came to be...but recently since an unrelated issue I've fallen for another girl. I don't want to leave my current wife...but have discussed with the new girl and she wants to be with me even in a multi family relationship. The problem is that the new girl is not bi and I don't know how to bring it up to my wife knowing she will most likely not get to be sexual with the new girl. Any advise will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

honesty is best

Comment: 

I would think it best that your honest with your wife right away. There should be no secrets there. When you married her this was not yet brought up I imagine. I intend to be very clear with my first wife as to will she or will she not have any say in any second wives. My preference is that it is my decision solely and she should accept my choice as this is biblical. I will however take my firsts concerns under consideration in the interest of a happy family. But if you had entered the first marriage without any thoughts of being poly then would it be fair to your wife to make rules on the fly.

I would think you need to decide that your wife comes first. Be careful not to put the new gf before your wife because if you are greedy you may end up with neither.
When you marry it is forsaking all others....
I suggest not pursuading anyone to give up or do what is not desired but to find the right second. My advice is bring them together and allow them to negotiate the bond as they are involved the new gf may accept your wifes desires after meeting her. Also your wife may accept the new gf desires to please you. Give them that chance and if they can't come to terms then find another gf. Consider that the new gf may be trying to drive a wedge between you and your wife so she might have you to herself. These things do happen.

Next I would suggest you talk to the new gf about your wifes desires. The new gf may be open to allowing you wife to please her but no requirement of the new gf to please your wife.
Perhaps your wife and the new gf are willing to share you at the same time with no contact between them. In this way they are both knowing what is going on.

Women either want the bedroom to be
1. A seperate house for each wife
2, One house husband and one wife only in bedroom.
3, One house husband shared by all wives at the same time but wives not with wives.
4, One house all sharing in all.
The last is my belief of biblical polygany in that when husbands were away for extended periods the wives met each others needs preventing adultery.

Put your first wife first as it should be ..... let her and the new wife work it out .... if they cant find another second wife.

I'm a 49 yr old man looking to begin a family
If your legal age to marry and up message me at yahoo messenger id americanpolygamist or email americanpolygamist@yahoo.com
You will never know if we are a perfect match unless we chat.
I am very serious and very ready. Distance doesn't matter. Home is where you decide it will be.

I'm a 49 yr old man looking to begin a family
If your legal age to marry and up message me.
You will never know if we are a perfect match unless we chat.
I am very serious and very ready. Distance doesn't matter. Home is where you decide it will be.

my opinion

Comment: 

The subject of being bisexual has been discussed many times. It is my belief the bible forbids women being sexual with one another and I do not believe the bible says the women provided for the sexual needs of each other when husband was away. Our society has made sex the very core of our being. The western culture makes sex the soul purpose of marriage and everything we see on TV and in print revolves around sex. That being said if your wife is bisexual and you are ok with that then you need to find a bisexual woman to join your family because if you bring a straight woman home and your wife trys to cnvert her yu may lose her and in theend you may lose both. We have known a few couples who took a bisisterwife and she cnverted the straight wife and they left the husband and started own relationship. If you are a man of God I would pray and pry for wisdom and guidance in this matter. All any of us can do is offer our opinion but you need to seek God and you and your wife need a serious heart to heart talk about what you both want in a polygamous life. I speak from experience because we lived in Polygamy once and know the pitfalls and problems. Most on here can only tell you what they feel or think because they have never lived it. If you have children then you need to be doubly sure before you do anything. But like I said it is only my opinion because I do not have to live with your decision.

"I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ"
~Ghandi

"I like your Christ I do not like your Christians They are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi

I agree with you on most of what u said apostle

Comment: 

Except on sexuality and women being together. If you know of scriptures in the bible that says women are not to be together in a marriage please let me know those so I may study and if necessary correct my path. As far as the poster I know tha hee needs to be open and honest a well as just to the first wife. Without honesty the marriage is doomed. Nothing, concerning the relationship and sex, should be done without the wife knowing. With bisexual wives or non bi wives honesty should always be the first thing.

I'm a 49 yr old man looking to begin a family
If your legal age to marry and up message me. yahoomessenger id americanpolygamist email americanpolyganist@yahoo.com
You will never know if we are a perfect match unless we chat.
I am very serious and very ready. Distance doesn't matter. Home is where you decide it will be.

I'm a 49 yr old man looking to begin a family
If your legal age to marry and up message me.
You will never know if we are a perfect match unless we chat.
I am very serious and very ready. Distance doesn't matter. Home is where you decide it will be.

Romans

Comment: 

makeks it pretty clear that women lying with women is the same as a man lying with another man. Therefore it is condemned by God. But its none of my business if a man chooses that for self and wives. That is between him and God.

"I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ"
~Ghandi

"I like your Christ I do not like your Christians They are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi

Dear All, The marriage bed

Comment: 

Dear All,

The marriage bed is undefiled. I think it is best to leave it up to each family to figure the intimate part out for themselves.

Blessings,

Justin

it is indeed

Comment: 

Undefiled as long as it remains biblical. You may do as you wish in your own bed. But when you bring the defilement outside the bed then people speak up. No matter what the government says or those who support it say God says same sex relationships are an abomination. He destroyed 5 cities over homosexuality. So yes heterosexual marriage bed is undefiled as long as it is between a man and one of his wives. It becomes defiled as soon as it becomes same sex.

"I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ"
~Ghandi

"I like your Christ I do not like your Christians They are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi

although I agree

Comment: 

That same sex relationships are not biblical, I also see many things around us that are not biblical every day.

Matthew 7:3-5 New International Version (NIV) 3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

We need to weed our own gardens before we try to weed our neighbor's

I agree with Apostle

Comment: 

I agree with Apostle on this subject. The women are not sposed to be together sexually. It is not approved by God. Polygyny is not about the wives being bisexual, or about sex at all. Poly is about family. love,and a loving marriage.

Frannie

The only place that I know

Comment: 

The only place that I know of where the bible forbids women with women is in the NT

Romans 1:26-28

26,.....for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of women,.... KJV

I am not sure this applies to bi-women, where a man is still the head of the house, But I do think it applies to lesbians where they reject men.

Proverbs 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

same sex

Comment: 

Same sex relationships are condemned by God. Doesn't matter if it is OT or NT. The bible doesn't say it only applies to lesbians. It says it is unnatural and it is Zn abomination to God. Read the whole chapter and see. Man always tries to find a way to work around what God said. Same sex is same sex period.

"I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ"
~Ghandi

"I like your Christ I do not like your Christians They are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi

casting your pearls

Comment: 

Apostle, I could not agree with you more, until they are ready to listen and learn, they will do as they please

Red Most will never be ready

Comment: 

Red
Most will never be ready to hear or see. They have their beliefs and they will never accept truth. The more time goes by the less patient I am with people. They hang onto the past so hard it is now their future. A spirit of confusion has come in and people desire more and more to be ungodly. Our nation is in danger of God's judgment yet the church world plays games and even embraces the putrid doctrine of the world.

"I like your Christ
I do not like your Christians
They are so unlike your Christ"
~Ghandi

"I like your Christ I do not like your Christians They are so unlike your Christ" Gandhi