Lets complain about annoying sterotypes.
For those that are already pro, and get annoyed by being sterotyped badly, lets complain!
*Polygyny is oppressive to women...
Oppression is oppressive, polygyny is just a way of doing things for pete's sake, just cause somebody does it the wrong way doesent mean we all do! The abuse does not negate the use! People who argue that way should be anti marridge, cause some monogamus marridges are really bad too.
*Homosexuality legislation might lead us to that further evil of polygamy.
Woah! This is especailly bad coming from Christians... One thing, clearly banned, might lead to another thing, which isnt banned at all. Other than a general librelizing trend Homo legislation shouldnt rationally link to poly legislation. Polgyny is much older, more widely acceptable, and well, right.
*Its only men that want to allow Polygyny.
AARRGGH! This is a pet peve of mine. My wife started the seacrch, My wife started me reserching, my wife lead us in that direction. There is a long list of benifits of more adults in a familiy. If a woman cant envision her husband with another man, then polygyny isnt for them, its no gauruntee every woman thinks that way.
Please, add you're complaints or continue to complain about mine.
Stereotypes
I imagine all of us are guilty of stereotyping a person or group of people at one time or another. I don't fault people for doing it, I fault them for not digging further and finding out the truth. Their view may be correct or it may not. Most of the time I image some of their view may be right and some will be wrong. As for polygamy, there are good and bad people living that life style, just as there are good and bad people living a monogamist life style. The problem with our society seems to be that we want to focus on the minority making poor choices in their lives.
I am a public school teacher and I constantly hear how the public schools are horrible. Even in this chat room I have had people "stereotype" the schools. I don't argue with them because there is good and bad in the schools. There is also good and bad in home schooling. It is up to me to do the best I can as a teacher and as one who believes in the principle of plural marriage. I may not be many but I am one and if I choose my friends wisely there will me more. Soon there will be so many good that the few bad will fade into a distant memory, for me and hopefully for our country.
Gabby
In all things, choose wisely.
stereotypes
I for one have had enough.. last night was the last straw. There I was minding my own business and some one comes in and starts grilling me about the compound I live in. And like every other comment contains the word compound. I was informed, much to my surprise that the compound in which I live does not let us leave to go downtown or to jobs or anything. I was told that so many poor abused women had come out seeking refuge from the compounds like the one I live in. It was just too much.. after asking several times for the names of any women this person actually knew at all, and getting just more of the same grilling, I decided it was time to ignore. I do not like to be rude or ignore anyone, but some who come in have no manners at all and just dont care to try and understand that they know absolutely nothing about the garbage they spew forth. I am tired of the hate.
Compounded frustration
You're Compound??? That's aweful. Mustve been on chat eh?
You know there's a problem when someone comes in and assumes they know more about you and where you live than you do.
I complement you on giving us a new one though, before the Texas problem I'd never heard of being stereotyped as all polygamists live in compounds...
That's terrible though, ignoring is a good option when it gets that bad.
Thank you
Well, we've got some very interesting input here, thank you.
Wannabesister, Its always nice to see a case in point for poly not being a male only area of interest.
Sunny, I think I have to agree that the poly husbands are wife abusers is the most vile and odious stereotype around. I don't even know where to get started on that...
Mod, I remember my time in states High school (not that its much better up here in the public system) To say ANY social integration happens in public school is naive or just plain ignorant. Many people wound up almost isolated because of clicks ect, and the one s in the clicks couldn't get along with real people in the real world because they have no skills that apply outside of the high school. Social integration my foot. Homeschooling is under its own line off attack it sounds like, and getting its own completely baseless stereotypes.
Charlesh, Yup.
I couldn't agree more...
Polygyny is only oppressive to those women who were forced into polygamous marriages. I see polygyny as a liberating way for a woman to live her life.
Homo legistration shouldn't have anything to do with polygamy... it only hurts the cause for polygyny to be linked to homosexuality... most people automatically think AHHHHH when the two are linked together... I agree with you completely.
Also with regards to men wanting polygyny... I was the one who did the resarch... I was the one who put myself out there. No man did that for me... I made that choice for myself.
-wannabesisterwife
The worst stereotype is that
The worst stereotype is that all polygamist men are oppressors and abusers, women are poly because they have to obey man or be beaten....sheesh !!!!!!!!
This latest thing in texas seems a bit like gov run amok to me....I mean last I heard they have yet to know if the girl who called is in their custody or not ! Yikes ! How can you have 400 people and NOT have her too ? Hmmm.
I'm not familiar with the education system and such in the "communities" but I'd think they'd want all the people (women, men & kids) to be as educated as possible for a few reasons - one to dispel the stereotype and 2 to help their community be better and finacially strong....but again - just my opinion :-)
Blessings
Ya Know
Just jumping in here for a sec.
Has everyone watched the video of the girls in Florida beating the living daylights out of a classmate. Not one or two of them, but what was it, six girls - and a couple of guy look outs?
Some of the news reports from Texas are really harping on how "these people" don't let their children integrate into society - don't go to public school. Yesterday the mom in Florida of the poor child who was beat announced she is "homeschooling" her daughter for the rest of her high school career. Does anyone blame her?
If folks want to try and protect their children from a society where kids think it is ok to beat someone till they are unconscious and will likely have permanent hearing and sight difficulties, and then post it on YouTube, seems like most folks would stand behind them.
And then the Texas court appointed guardian saying that all the children are healthy, well cared for and in her words - rosey cheeked - gads - lets arrest them all.
a historical moment...
Now, watch closely as civil rights are trod on and privacy violated.
Watch now as the balance of justice disappears.
Underage marriage is wrong and should be dealt with in the limited scope of that. Unfortunately, that is not where it will stop.
The 'law enforcement' will continue there far past that limited scope.
So much for the constitution.
stereotypes
I concure! I brought the idea of plural marriage to my husband prior to our vows. But another stereotype we have been facing lately, and maybe its new, is that a wife looking for polygyny must be bisexual. Or unable to bear children. To some this may be true, but I am sure (for most) it is NOT the beginning reason for engaging in polygamy. It seems prevalant in many discussions.
We recently met someone through a friend who had known we were learning about polygamy. She was under the impression we were learning, not engaging. (She wasn't in our confidence) She told me a three-some occaisonally is on thing, but marrying another to keep your man happy is another." I was offended more of her ignorance than to the comment.
It seems like this is becoming the mentality of almost everyone within our age range. (which is young) I did not chose this way of life to keep my husband happy. My husband hasn't chosen it for himself or to keep me happy. We choose it together, we learn about it together. Someday we will be blessed with a third and will grow together.~
Steryotypes
Yesh, the threesome good, polygamy bad statement is a sign of the times for sure. I've always been big on family stability, as a mater of personal prefrence and a mater of social stabilty, marrige is better. That is really not a very well thought through statement. I'm not big on the work of Focus on the Family, but their whole defence of marridge thing has some pretty good arguments, most of which apply to polygamy as well as monogamy (Control of STD's, Child rearing stability, the intristic value of the trust of long term relationships [Then they go off on anti polygamy with no argument against it])
The Bi reason sterotype is new as far as I know (havent had to deal with it, my wife is actually bi) and is probably somewhat due to the media linking the homosexuality argument with the polygamy argurment. By itself it's not a good enough reason to go into poly anyway, though for us it was a begining reason to consider it. I am very sure that most people go with the more important reasons, and it doesent seem like my wife is even close to the norm.
You're last paragraph is a beautifull statement of how any poly decition should be made. I hope you have good luck at finding the right third person.