Issues with First Wife

I do not know if this is where I should be posting this particular query; but I really need some help. I have been in this relationship for about three years now; almost 4. In the beginning, things were wonderful; but it soon came to my attention that husband's first wife simply did not like me. I have spoken to her at length about what I could do to make myself more appealing to her; but she says that it is my personality that she does not like. She thinks that I am trying to redecorate her house; though I attend university and am rarely home. Husband, as far as I am aware, controls how the house looks. He has spoken to her about this himself; but she has other reasons, I believe. She says that I am loud, so I have tried to learn to hold my tongue. She says that I am controlling, and I hope that this is not the case. She criticizes all that I do; from caring for the children to the way I sweep the floor. I do not know how to gain her favor; and I feel that my life could be considerably better were we friends. If anyone has any advice, I would be greatly appreciative.

Thank you for listening.