Please Beware of The Female Solution (Cruel Muslim woman fakes support for polygyny)

Peace and Blessings to all,

This note is concerning an African-American Muslim woman author named Naimah Latif, who wrote a book entitled, THE FEMALE SOLUTION.

First of all, I swear before Almighty God that all that I am saying in this note is the absolute truth.

I went jogging today. Whenever I do, something gets "shaken loose" inside of me. Today, I made a decision to warn men--particularly conscious men of religion, and more particularly, conscious black men (of whatever belief)--to beware of the talk of a black woman named Naimah Latif, someone I was engaged to for a hot second recently. And someone who broke the heart of a brother named Rasheed, as well as mine. And someone who talks a good game about being a "revolutionary" and a "trailblazer," but who, instead, turned out to be a fake. She is an Ahmadi Muslim, also.

What I am going to tell you is nothing but the pure truth. It's hard to abbreviate this, but I'll do my best. Again: The reason I'm writing this note is because, as many men have experienced, there is almost nothing as tough as experiencing heartbreak as a result of a woman. And I swear that I do not want any man to encounter this particular woman, Naimah Latif, and possibly end up very hurt. But!! Size her up for yourself, if you're interested. Because, despite the truth of what I say below, there is a very beautiful woman deep down inside there that got pushed down, due to circumstances in her life. If you can bring that woman back up, you'll have gold in your hands. So, there is hope, but you'll be taking a HUGE chance with your heart, believe me.

QUICK BACKGROUND

First, the woman is 50 years old. But, don't fool yourself. She still looks (looks) good. She keeps in shape. She does have a kind heart, to a point. She has served her community (both black and Muslim) in various capacities, even receiving awards, which hang prominently on the walls of her apartment. But, brothers, as I said, beware.

I dated this woman over two decades ago. Here is the reason I ended then: This woman faked her "suicide," and had a friend of hers call me, posing as a police officer, and telling me that her dead body had been found near some railroad tracks. I was devastated. I couldn't find her anywhere. About a week later, she shows up--as if nothing happened. I finally got the truth out of her, and she confessed that it was a ruse. Se had gotten angry at me about something, and decided to scare the hell out of me.

When she did that, I decided that that was VERY weird, and very bad. So I cut the relationship off. I also cut it off because, to be honest, I did not feel that I was in her class. That's a sociological thing that's hard to explain, but just take it at that. I had been willing to overcome my personal hangup about her being in a "higher class" (well, as I had perceived her, anyway), and was prepared to marry her. But, when she pulled that shocking "suicide" stunt, that was too much.

THREE MONTHS AGO.

Okay, decades pass. About three months ago, out of the blue, she called me, after I had not heard from her in over two decades. Over the three months, we renewed a friendship. Over that same three months, she began to tell me of her troubles--literally crying tears; calling me at work, telling me how,

1. "I'm a Muslim woman. I can't have sex before marriage, as you know. I can't find a man. You're the only one I can trust." She must have told me, at least 10 times over the last three months, that I was the "only one" she could trust, even though she had not seen me in 22 years.

2. "I'm so tired. I have my private business, and I'm the only one. I need help."

3. "My business partner, who I fell in love with, won't marry me."

And on and on. Any man--any man--who has experienced a woman crying to YOU; telling you her troubles, knows how that feels. Your heart automatically softens. And, if you love her--which I did--you'll do whatever you can. You can't help it. You take up the challenge, and you're going to be her knight in shining armor [sometimes translated as, A DAMNED FOOL!]

So, the first thing I did was try to get a feel for her situation. I tried to "counsel" her. She continued telling me that she didn't want to be one of these women who end up alone, and on and on.

At one point, I strongly told her that she needs to focus and drop this guy who really didn't want her as a wife [as he confessed to me himself]. So, she challenged me, in a testy fashion. She said, "So what are you going to do!" I immediately proposed.

She accepted the proposal, but called our new relationship a "tentative engagement." She even introduced me to her friends as her fiance. Naturally, I was in heaven. I'd always loved her, despite the break up. And, after 22 years, she was back into my life. There is no other dream that I could have possibly wished for, other than her back in my life. I couldn't believe this was happening to me!! Was I dreaming? God DOES exist!!

"UNCONDITIONAL LOVE"

Now, over time, she began to lay down conditions to the marriage. I'll list them. Some of them were explicit conditions. Others were implied, but equally strong.

1. She wanted me to learn videography, one of the businesses she does. (I'll elaborate later)

2. She wanted a public wedding, for all to see.

3. Though this was an implied condition, it was a real one that had to be met: She wanted her own dwelling. I am married. So she, being a Muslim woman, would have to have her own, separate dwelling, and could not stay in the same apartment or home as I and my current wife. Oh, she already had her own apartment. But here is what she told me: "I cannot stay in my present apartment, because it would be too impractical for you to come visit me from so far. So, we'll have to get a dwelling." She was referring to, as an example, an apartment building, where she could live in her own apartment, and my "other" wife could live in a different apartment, and I'd go back and forth between them, according to whatever schedule that we all agreed upon.

4. The woman believes whole heartedly in polygamy (or so she claims). So, she used to say to me, "Women should not feel that they own their men. They should have enough love as to be willing to share their men." So, in essence, this was an implied condition: that my wife be perfectly willing to share me with her, and that she enter my family as my second wife, otherwise known as a "co-wife" in the world of polygyny ("Polygyny" is the correct term used to indicate the relationship of a man who has more than one wife. "Polyandry" is the correct term used to indicate the relationship of a woman who has more than one husband. And "Polygamy" is the umbrella term that indicates any kind of relationship, either Polygyny or Polyandry, where multiple wives/multiple husbands are involved).

5. She wanted know if I would be prepared for any fallout that I might get from my religious community, as the question of polygamy was a bit touchy in my religious community.

6. She wanted to know if I would be able to accept her family, as well as withstand any pressure that might come to me from them as a result of their objection to our marriage.

7. There was a definite implied demand that I be able to...ahem...produce sexually. The implied demand came in the form of an email that included the following sentence: "Of course, I am not a nun." That was petty clear to me!

8. There was an implied demand concerning her deceased husband, whom she'd been married to. But I will not comment on that here, because that would not be fair. But, it was a clear demand, and later, through a confession, she openly admitted to me that this "implied demand," as I call it, was certainly one that she was making, but that later she realized was unfair.

Okay, so she made a full 8 demand from me.

Now, here, brothers and sisters, is the ONE demand that I made from her:

1. That she call me and talk to me for only 5 minutes out of the 24 hour day. That's it. I told her that, since we were now engaged, I was extremely happy, and that I wanted to hear her sweet voice for just 5 minutes a day out of the 24 hours. She was (is) an extremely busy woman, and I did not want to cramp her. Certainly, for most people, a demand of one-half hour a day would seem a reasonable demand. But, I didn't ask for that. I just asked for a microscopic 5 minutes a day, out of 24 hours.

Okay, let's go over the 8 demands that she made of me, that are listed above, and I'll tell you which ones I was able to meet, and which ones I was not able to meet.

1. Her business: I work an 8-hour job. I am a manger at my job. I have full hospitalization I've been there for 2 years. So, obviously, I could not quit my job to learn videography. But, I feel that I did meet this demand, because I told her that I would take over her book business (yes, she has a book business also), becaused I used to sell books to 80 countries, and I knew how to do that. She agreed that I would take over her book business, and told me that this would be a huge weight off of her shoulders. So, I met this demand, and was prepared, once we got married, to take over her book business.

2. The public wedding: I agreed, with no reservations, to a public wedding.

3. Her dwelling. I immediately began looking for property. I had always assumed that I could not possibly qualify for propert. But, because of how deep my love for here was, I found a realtor. He gave me a "pre-approval" interview, for about 50 minutes, asking me about my income, length of time at my job, length of time at my apartment, nature of my profession, length of time I'd been doing that kind of work; he checked my credit report, etc. And, to my surprise, he said I qualified for any property up to $150,000, and $7000 in taxes. I immediately began looking for a 3-flat or a 4-flat, preferably a 4 flat, so we could rent two of the flats out as income. So, I met this demand.

4. Polygyny. I talked to my wife about my desire to marry Naimah. We both went through a couple of weeks of tears--real tears. I told her, "Don't do this unless you really want to. I will not force this." In time, she said to me, "I can do this. I love you. And I love Naimah. She's a good woman. She's good for you." So, Naimah's condition that a a wife should not feel that she owns her husband, was met.

5. Fallout from my religious community. I met this demand, telling her that I would marry her, no matter if there would be any fallout from my religious community.

6. Fallout from her family. I met this demand, telling her that I would marry her, no matter if there wouldbe any fallout from her family.

7. Rack'n em back: I started jogging for ONE HOUR and twenty minutes, every other day. I found a powerful, all-natural supplement for men that contained 17 Chinese herbs, and no drugs. I took that supplement to Mitzi Labant, my acpuncturist, who was once the head of the Illinois Acupuncture Association, and also headed an Acpuncture school, and is an expert in Chinese herbs. She examined the supplement, and told me that, yes, it was all natural and potent. And it worked. I took the supplement, and...ahem...became more than prepared to handle the sexual needs of two wives. It took about a month of physical exercise, good diet, plenty of water, and that supplement. But, I met this demand.

8. The implied demand concerning her deceased husband, Sultan Latif. This demand is one that I could not meet. It was impossible.

So, brothers and sisters, out of the 8 demands that she made of me, I met 7 of them. But, out of the ONE demand that I made of her, guess "how many" she was able to meet? NONE. None, brothers and sisters.

Not only that, she slung me up against the wall [figuratively speaking], and told me that, due to the fact that I had demanded that she call FOR ONLY 5 MINUTES OUT OF A 24 HOUR PERIOD, that I was demonstrating to her that (ready for this?!) I did not have unconditional love for her.

Well, in the first place, just who was the person who laid out so many demands? Me? No. It was her. She laid out 8 demands of me. So, the truth is that I was not the one who didn't have "unconditional love." It was her who didn't have "unconditional love." The woman laid down EIGHT conditions, SEVEN of which I met. I laid down ONE condition, NONE of which she was able to meet.

Then she quoted Rasoolulah (sws), i.e., the Prophet Muhammad, stating that my ONE condition was an indicator to her that, during a marriage, I would break her "delicate" rib. There is a saying of Rasoolulah's (sws) concering the importance of a man recognizing the delicacy of a woman; and that if he was too hard on her, he might might break her ribs. He was speaking figuratively, and he meant that a man should be aware to not break the spirit of a woman by being too hard on her.

Now, I ask ANYBODY ON EARTH the following question: If I told you, before a marriage to you, that, at this moment all I want from you is 5 minutes a day, out of 24 hours, which of the following would you conclude about how I would act once the actual marriage took place.

1. I would be a tyrant who would try to lock you up, and prevent you from doing anything
2. I would be a man who would not try to take up all of your time; that I would be very tolerant of your time in your business.

Any normal thinking person would say, "Wow! This man only wants 5 minutes of my time out of 24 hours!? That's great! Obviously, he will not be a harsh man during the marriage! This is a good sign!!"

And she continued to not call me, yet at the same time made it clear that we would continue to explore the possibility of being married, only slowing down the process, since 22 years had passed, so that we could get to know each other again. Okay, fair enough.

But, I got to thinking about the situation, and I was forced to ask myself a very simple question: If a woman cannot spare 5 minutes in a 24 hour period to talk to me before a marriage, how was it going to be possible to build a loving relationship during the marriage? And if I could meet 7 out of 8 demands of this woman, yet she could not meet the ONE demand I had [for a total of ZERO demands met], then why would I want to marry such an unfair individual?

She wanted everything her way. But, anyone who knows how a successful marriage works [and have been married to my current wife for 20 years], knows that compromise is key. You cannot just shove YOUR ideas down the throat of your mate, and then expect to have a successful, blissful, peaceful marriage. Ain't happening. You have to be able to compromise. But, she could not even compromise FIVE MINUTES out of a 24-hour period.

So, I made a decision that has left me utterly depressed ever since: I called her and broke it off. I felt that I had bent over backwards, fulfilling all of her demands except one.

She had made it impossible for me. She had all her demands that she wanted fulfilled, but could not fullfill one tiny demand of mine.

Now, if you're wondering why I'm not embarrassed to share this, hey, I'm no kid!! At ths age, I ain't gonna be embarrassed about anything like this. For what?

My ONLY concern is to tell men to be awfully careful with this sister. The woman KNOWS how to get a man to love her. But, I swear, I really do not want anyone to end up hurt, because there is virtually no pain on earth as intense as the pain of being hurt by a woman--especcially a woman you have loved, non-stop, for 22 years, and a woman you would continue to love forever. You do not wish to suffer such pain, believe me.

Yeah I hurt her, 22 years ago, when I dropped her then. But, this time I tried--and hard--to be there for her. I exercised. I looked for property. I purchased the headstone for her deceasd husband, which she had not been able to afford. That cost me $2,000. It is a loan, and I do not know if she will pay it back--maybe. Had our marriage gone forward, I was going to tell her to not pay me that money back, but, rather, to apply it to my dowry [for you non-Muslims, a man must pay a dowry of money to the woman he wants to marry. I am no longer a Muslim, but she was prepared to marry me, for a hot moment, and I was going to honor her traditions, since I had been Muslim at one time, and since I loved her passionately].

I really, really tried. But she was hard as nails, and would not budge. So, I said to myself, "So be it," and called her and told her that I could not marry someone who was so inflexible, and who would use the issue of unconditional love as an excuse to not compromise.

Last, let me tell you all about me. I am a revolutionary. It is not an empty saying. I became a revolutionary on April 4th, 1968 (Look the date up). I have done--not talked--some serious revolutionary things. And I am not talking about Marxist-Leninist "revolution." I used the word "revolution" to mean opposing things that are anti-life, and supporting things that are about enhancing, or bettering life.

I think that this woman forgot who I was. I think that, when she met someone (me, and my wife) who were real revolutionaries, by our very natures, she got frightened, and then put up this roadblock regarding her inability to talk to me for 5 minutes. In short, she chickened out.

She found an excluse, and then blamed me for not being "understanding" of her time. I think that the real reason she stopped calling had nothing to do with the fact that she had no time at all. It had to do with the fact that, when it was time to put the foot to the pedal, she didn't have the nerve to live by her teachings.

In fact, her business partner, who has known her well for two years, called me and put it to me this way:

"Naimah is good at philosophy. But her problem is that she doesn't know how to live in the philosophy." In short, he was saying that she can't practice what she preaches.

And that's fine. But don't go out here sticking your chest out, claiming (as she does at at least one forum online that I discovered) that you are a "revolutionary" and a "trailblazer," but then the moment the test comes, you run like a chicken.

I was the wrong person to approach about polygyny or anything revolutionary. I LOVE to go against the status quo! And, in Naimah, I saw so much.

1. A woman I truly loved, though [in another nasty trick] she claimed that, "Oh, your love is just from a memory of 22 years ago." The funny thing is that, in the next breath, she'll say, "Love is eternal--it never ends." Well, that's a woman for you!! Oy vey!!

2. A woman who had GUTS. She was fully ready to stand up to the system, even giving her book to U.S. Congressmen, challenging them to support a law allowing men to legally take on more than one wife.

Unbeknownst to her, I used to call her, "my political woman," with the word political meaning, in broad terms, a person who saw was serious about life, and was willing to take a stand.

Unfortuntely, she was too afraid to be the real deal. She should not have come to me. Because I don't play around. If you want revolution; if you want to be a "trailblazer," then you'd better think twice before coming to ME. Because, in time, I'll end up being way ahead of you on that "trail."

That's my pitiful story. I realize that, yes, it will look pitiful to some. But, what I hope and pray is that men who believe in love; men who are the type who will open their hearts to a woman; men who are romantics [A friend of mine once said, "Men are the true romantics"]; and men who are true revolutionaries, to truly beware of this woman, Naimah Latif, who wrote a book, The Female Solution, which, in part, supports polygyny, but who was not able to put her words into action; and, in the process, broke my heart to pieces. I am only now slowly coming out of depression, due to physical exericse and taking mega-doses of Vitamin B complex.

Yours,

Ron Chism