Polygamous marriage takes prayer, thought, says Bountiful wife

http://calsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2009/01/10/7982361.html

By DAVE DORMER, SUN MEDIA

CRESTON, B.C. ˜ When Jane Quinton decided she wanted to get married at the age of 18, it wasn't quite as simple as meeting the man of her dreams and settling down.

A resident of the tiny colony of Bountiful, B.C. ˜ about 500 km southwest of Calgary ˜ Quinton first had to meet with Roulon Jeffs, then the prophet of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and get his permission to become a wife.

"At that time we more believed in church, not really placement, but we talked to the leaders of the church to make sure it was something that was agreeable for both parties," she said.

"I couldn't just go date him because he was a married man.

"(Jeffs) talked to this person that I'm married to and decided with him whether he would be willing to do this."

But because the man chosen for Quinton to spend her life with already had a wife, she couldn't marry him in the traditional, legal sense.

"I can't marry him because Canada's laws say you can only have one wife," she said, refusing to reveal the man's name or age or that of his first wife.

"My husband has done nothing more than a lot of other men in Canada, he has a relationship with another woman."

Instead of a traditional wedding, Quinton said the pair took part in a church ceremony to solidify their union.

"We are married spiritually," she said.

"It was a spiritual service so that I feel married in every sense other than I have no piece of paper that says so."

Originally from Cardston, Quinton moved to Bountiful at the age of 14 with her mother, father, siblings, her father's four other wives and their children.

Now 28, Quinton has five children of her own between the ages of two and 10 and still lives with her husband, sister-wife and her children.

"They know what we do is different," she said of the children.

"But they also feel so loved."

Living in a polygamous relationship, said Quinton, can be taxing.

"There is a lot of prayer and thought that goes into a relationship like this before it ever happens," she said.

"You don't just enter this without thinking and praying and hoping and looking for the very best of everything that can happen."

Quinton‚s father, who she didn‚t name, was initially against the idea of her becoming a multiple wife, she said, even though he had five wives of his own.

It took quite a bit of persuasion before he relented and gave his blessing.

"He said absolutely, positively no way," she said.

"He said 'you're not getting married until you're 25'‚ and I said 'that's so not fair, I want to get married now.‚

"I forced my dad to say yes, I was a rebellious teenager."

Quinton's mother, Cherene, a widow who shared her husband with four other women, said she supports her daughter's decision.

"I want my children to use their brains to think and to pray and find out (about life) for themselves," she said.

Earlier this week, RCMP arrested Winston Blackmore, 52, and James Oler, 44, both spiritual leaders of Bountiful, and charged each with one count of polygamy.

Both are scheduled to appear in court next on Jan. 21.

dave.dormer@sunmedia.ca