The Acceptance of Plural Marriage

Hey Everyone.

Being new on this site and reviewing some of the posts, I just wanted to share a few thoughts and I welcome any feedback or response--from Fundy polygs and Christian polygs alike; or those seeking to enter into that principle of marriage.

I can appreciate what Anne Wilde and her counterparts are doing in SLC, and others, too, from Independent circles, but I believe it is an exercise in futility.

Why?

Because this system of marriage won't ever be accepted by the majority of our nation, especially with the apologists in the LDS Church trying to sweep the history beneath the proverbial rug. I remember my mother going through a tour of the Lion House in SLC, and when the guide stated (after going through several bedrooms) "And this is where Brigham Young's wife slept."

My mom asked where the plural wives slept and she was met with silence, a blank expression and blinking eyes.

The problem is that the Church is ashamed of her past and are desperately trying to adopt a marketing campaign, which distances herself from an inescapable history of plural marriage. Don't beleive me, just look back a few months ago. The Church was silent for so long with the raid in Texas, then after several weeks, the General Authorities issued a press release announcing a stark contrast between LDS and FLDS.

I have had people ask me, "So how many wives do YOU have," when I tell them I'm a Mormon.

Within the general public's mind, Mormonism and Plural Marriage are synonomous. Johnny and Jane Q. Public have never heard of the Manifesto of 1890 or the Declaration of 1904. They just see video clips when Short Creek or others make the news and think, "Hmmm. Mormons!"

Yeah, many of us polygs choose to quietly live our lives from the public eye, but no matter where we choose to live them, the Town Gossip always finds you: The second glances when you walk into a store; catching people with eyes wide whispering behind their hands; hearing the snickers as you pass; or even blatant remarks, which frankly isn't any of their damned business. People fishing for information to find closure to the rumor they heard--etc, etc.

I used to work for the State of Arizona--ADC--and once I picked up the State Representative, Jake Flake from an airport, who had flown in for a meeting at the prison. He introduced himself, and when I said I was a Jessop, his response was, "Oh. A Jessop!" Nodding in recognition.

You see: wherever you choose to go, the government will discover who you are and what you believe--whether it is from the friendly missionary visit, who glance at the fundy books on the shelf, to the Jehovah's Witnesses, who tract your home, and return to report the information that leads to the rumor mill; or whether it is a visit to the social security office to apply for a number for your home-born child. They'll find out. Not trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist--just stating the facts. (Insert Sergeant Friday's voice-over)

I'm happy the way I live. I know the law enforcement community knows about me, and it doesn't bother me. I live the way I do because it is a commanded law to live. But I'm not going to try to lump myself as living an alternative lifestyle, akin to swinging or homosexuality. That's not what I'm about. I don't support adultery. I don't support GLAD--nor do I wish to be associated with their causes.

Plural marriage is so diametrically opposed to homosexuality, it's absurd to try to place the two under a mutual category. It's like trying to put the Amish into the same classification as bikers, because most bikers are bearded. It's an extreme.

Society won't ever accept us because we believe in large families. My small family pales in comparison with others I have known. It simply isn't cool to have such a large family these days, but I think it's awesome.

Once someone asked me such a profound and deeply stupid question, "Do you ever forget the names of your kids?"

I answered, "Are you stoned?" In a richly patronizing voice.

I'm sure every parent with more than one child has, at stressful times, gone down the line with names until they reach the name of the child they are getting after--I've done it--but to forget the name of your own kid? C'mon, now!

I look forward to opening up my kids' yearbooks and seeing row after row of pictures--either of my own or those related to me--on each page!

But as to the efforts trying to legalize plural marriage...I think pot will become legal first.

Good luck and cheers.